Friday, March 03, 2006

..:: I cant figure out ::..

I just cant find my real self. All i know i just want to study through out my life. I'm not ready for working environment (Hope to further my studies). This explain why I just cant be bothered to search for any job. I would rather work for my own self..have the profits to myself....but i dun want to have all losses to myself...Sigh..feels like going career fair tomorrow. But I just afraid to come out from this nut shell to meet the real world...a worlds which involves many competition, politics....and rivalry...omg...I have to start low and climb up to get the best highest seat...how long would i take to climb???will i eva get to the "BEST" seat??How will i overcome the rivalry??? I just cant believe it...im doing nothing for the next few weeks till university application results are out...sad


I felt as though like time had been rewinded to the time after my 'o' level...again i dun even bother to look for jobs...again those same questions pop up..again i feel the same fear...sigh...I supposed every stage makes us a better person but i don't feel it that way...sigh..


How do i face the reality that I must start working?? When I was young, i never thought of starting work at the age of 21-24 years old...I thought I must start to work at the age of 25 only..Its when i have adequate knowledge and cert...and adequate experience...truth always hurt...


I remebered back in sec sch days during Physics lesson at SCSS, Mr Ang did something which i named it Therapy...im not sure...he turn on a very soothing music like those in spas...he asked us to close our eyes relax...and he asked us to pretend that we are walking....and there are many roads which lead us to different place...from left is a signboard stated career life, thenITE , then Polytechnic, then JC/CI...which way i would like to go??after chossing the road we were asked to continue the journey and we saw another junction, which have different signboards clockwise, University, career life, family life, or a u-turn....after deciding we are asked to opened our eyes...then he said something to us...which really makes me think and I remebered these sentences up till today..."If we want to be there at our final destination, we should start planning how to get there. Uneven ground, poth-holes, humps and traffic lights are a common thing which you need to face, overcome it to get going. Its alright if you have to u-turn just as long as you get to your final destination."


My final destination is still a secret...till i get there...honestly...i wish to be there...only god will know where is my final destination...

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